Gained an Angel_Sasha Marie Vigil

Name: Sasha Marie Vigil

Age: 26

Home town: Seattle, WA

Current city: La Mesa, CA

Hobbies: singing, writing, drawing

Occupation: Stay at home Mommy!

 

My Story:

 

For as long as I can remember, my Grandpa Henry has been the one person I turn to when I need to smile, when I need a hug (even if it's an over-the-phone-hug), a shoulder to cry on, or just an extremely good laugh. When I was a little girl, my mother was on her own with me, so she worked around the clock, 7 days a week. So whenever my mom was at work, I was with Grandpa Henry. I remember how I would be in the kitchen, or even upstairs visiting with his amazing neighbors.. (I say they were amazing because they gave me all the home-made Filipino snacks, baked goods, and candy a little girl could ever ask for.) I would be having a great time and I would hear my Grandpa yell "SHASHA MARIE!!!" over and OVER again.. and each and every time, I would run to him, thinking something was wrong. I would storm into the room, and say "What's wrong, Grandpa?!" And what did he need?? The television turned up because he couldn't hear it haha. I fell for it every time, but I loved doing it. I would laugh so hard knowing that was all he needed, and I really freaked out, AGAIN..haha.

 

When I was 10 years old, my Mom informed me that we were going to be moving to California. I was heart broken. My Grandpa made me swear to call him at least once a week to tell him how my studies were going. I kept up with my promise for a few years. But of course, as I got older, it wasn't the "cool" thing to do to be on the phone with my Grandpa instead of hanging out with my friends. Throughout my time in high school, I barely spoke to my Grandpa unless it was a special occasion. 

When I was 20 years old, I got pregnant with my first baby, and got married. When I found out that I was having a girl, I called my Grandpa (before I told anyone else) and told him the great news. He cried like a baby, and I will NEVER EVER forget what he said to me. He said "My Shasha..." (I'm pretty sure he's never said my name correctly lol) "I am so happy that you are going to be the one who gives me my first great-grand-baby. Thank you so much!" Those words come to mind every time I watch my daughter now do anything new.

 

When I was 24 years old, my poor Grandpa fell extremely ill. His liver and kidneys were failing. My mom was going back and forth from here in San Diego, to Seattle, WA every couple weeks. The doctors would tell her that he was stable, so she would come home, only to recieve another phone call a couple days after telling her she needed to come home, that my Grandpa would not have much longer. Unfortunately, I was in school full time, and I had my daughter, so I could not afford to take the time to go see my Grandpa during this time. I kept saying I would take a week off of school and just go spend some time with him. Finally, while my mom was in Washington, I got the call. She told me my Grandpa had passed. I literally FELL to the ground.

 

How did that make you feel?:

 

My heart had never hurt so much, or even in the way it did, in that moment. All I could think of was how much he wanted me there, and I didn't go. I was crushed, but at the same time, I was so relieved to know that my dear Grandpa was no longer in pain. I traveled up to Washington for his Viewing and Burrial. I really thought, as I was walking up to the funeral home, that I was going to be fine. But as soon as I saw him, I broke, and I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

 

How did this make you act?:

 

As soon as I returned back to San Diego, I started to try to see all of my friends and loved ones more, and I tried to stop being such a flaky person. I also took as much time with my daughter as I could, no longer finding a sitter every weekend. As cliche as it sounds, I got a reality check, and re-prioritized my life. I got back into working out, started going back to church, and took my daughter to the park atleast once a week.

 

What was the outcome of that?:

 

After I chose not to take life for granted anymore, my life felt like it all fell into place. I finally got myself a full-time job, I was with someone who actually treated me right (who is now my husband!) and I had my second child. Funny thing is, my son looks like my Grandpa, he acts like him, it's uncanny. Now I am the mother I always wanted to be, and the mother that my Grandpa always knew I would be.

 

What was the lesson you/your family took from the whole experience and why are you  better now for having gone through this experience?:

 

Losing my Grandpa didn't only teach me to appreciate life, and the loved ones God has blessed me with. It also taught me that I can't keep putting things off, no matter how big or small the task. It also taught me to cherish the family, blood related or not, that I am so lucky to have. I do believe I am a better, much more mature woman after losing him. Believe me, I would give almost anything to hug him again, but I am so thankful to him for the valuable lessons that I so desperately needed to learn.

 

Inspiring words for others dealing with this situation? Final thoughts?:

 

Losing someone you love is never ever easy. No matter if you talked everyday, or if it was just a couple times a year. I know the pain is unbearable at times, and it feels terrible when people tell you "time heals all wounds". As time goes by, you will miss them more and more, that will never go away. But knowing that you have someone watching over you and your loves, is priceless. That lost loved one will always be with you, so no matter your circumstances, you are NEVER alone in your pain. And in that same respect, you are NEVER alone in your triumphs. Reach out to others when you are in pain, don't ever hold any of it in. And when your loved ones are hurting, make sure to lend a shoulder to cry on as well. Love one another, never take anyone for granted.

 

Thank you for reading my story, and I pray that you keep smiling, and always stay blessed! 

Sincerely,

Sasha Marie Vigil